Thursday, April 4, 2013

turning 40 and being in a slump.....

So...yesterday I turned 40. I never imagined it would affect me the way it did. It's only a number really....but to me it seemed to be some sort of milestone...the age when you kind of sit back and assess just how far you have come and what you have accomplished. Though I have so much to be thankful for...two beautiful children, a wonderful husband, great friends and family...I still felt sad. It's not like me to dwell on things or become depressed (at least not for very long) but turning 40 just hit me hard. All I could think about was what I haven't accomplished....how I still haven't lost the extra pounds
I have been wanting to, how I still haven't found the success I was hoping for with my art, how I need to be a better parent...a better wife...have more patience...work harder in the studio... and on and on....I was really quite hard on myself over the last week. I felt so hopeless and really quite lonely.....but today I move ahead. I really have no right to be sad.....I have so much.


It really is just a number.....I certainly don't feel 40...whatever that means. I will enter into this next phase of my life with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. I have an amazing family, a cozy home, and a beautiful life. I can make it what I want...and I will. Wish me luck as I take on the next 40 years!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tomorrow I turn 41!! I spent the whole year after I turned 39 prepping myself mentally for turning 40!! It is a big deal, kind of, then again, it is just a number. It is definitely something I had to mentally prepare for, and when it came, I was okay!! I was greatful for all the friends and family and things I have around me! It is only a number, it's just hard to say, isn't it?!! Happy Bday to you!! Jennifer K

Elise Hartmann said...

You are right! I do think the hardest thing is saying ..."I'm 40!" It really is just mental...I honestly didn't expect it to have any effect on me at all...I was taken by surprise with my array of emotions. It is nice to hear I am not the only one...Happy Birthday to you!!!!!

Ericka O'Rourke said...

Your actually MAKING me feel old! I was okay with where I was, but now your dredging up all this stuff! On with it...you are no different then last week...and we are the ONLY species on this planet that gives a thought to our rotations around the sun. xoxo

Ericka O'Rourke said...

uh oh, I forgot you have to approve our comments here...

Elise Hartmann said...

Lol! Nothing like having a good friend to put me in my place.... :)

elaine said...

Didn't you know that 40 is the new 20? Seriously, though, I think people in their 40s look and act much younger now than they did in the 50s and 60s. Even the 20- and 30-year olds looked older. We have to stop thinking of 40 as "old." I'm just now reaching my "40s" and I'm getting dangerously close to 69 chronological years.

Elise Hartmann said...

you are totally right.....I am ready to take on life head on! Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom, kindness and truth! I am proud of who I am and the person I have become and the person I will be!

Gez Butterworth said...

You look beautiful, and you artwork is inspirational.. belated birthday wishes too you!! Remember, the best is yet to come!

So happy I found your beautiful blog through Instagram xX

Happy creating, Gez

Elise Hartmann said...

Thank you so much Gez! I am glad you found me as well!