Saturday, March 24, 2007
It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm sitting in the bedroom from my childhood. I'm still trying to get everything straight in my head. My father passed away suddenly this past Monday and my heart is breaking and I still can't believe it's true. He was such an amazing person...such a good man....such a wonderful father. I had always known I would have to deal with the loss of my parents one day....but you can never prepare yourself for such devistation and sorrow. All of my relatives have gone home now...and it's just me and my mom here in the house that was such a good home to me and it feels so empty. I keep expecting him to walk down the hall or see him in the bathroom combing his hair...or find him on the couch taking a nap. I'm not sure why I am writing all this and most likely it won't make sense to me tomorrow...but I guess I needed to come to the realization that the past week has not been a dream. If only I could have one last hug or I could see him throwing the ball to Liam just one more time. I know it wouldn't make it any easier...I just wish for it. He was such a good dad to me and I am going to miss him so much.